The Dating Game: 7 Great Ways to Correct a Bad First Impression

The Dating Game: 7 Great Ways to Correct a Bad First Impression

Picture this: You’re at a hot new restaurant in town that everyone has been raving about. In a few minutes, your date arrives, and she looks gorgeous.

Although you’re a little nervous in the beginning, you rein in your nerves and greet her confidently and pleasantly. The two of you get along well enough. The conversation is light and enjoyable. The atmosphere is fun and cheerful. The food is delicious.

she looks gorgeousOverall, you’re doing great, but suddenly you sense that things are going downhill. You’re not making the impression you were hoping for. You wonder, “Was it something I said, or didn’t say? Was it something I did, or didn’t do? What is happening?”

For some inexplicable reason, the rest of the date feels stale and lackluster. The night comes to an end, and you escort your date to a cab. You exchange formal goodbyes and part ways.

It’s hard to put a finger on it, but you know this for sure: You blew it.

Two alternatives loom before you:

  • Cut your losses: Swear to never call or see her again.
  • Recover your position: Turn the situation around.

Although the first choice seems easier, answer this: If you could turn things around effortlessly, would you do it? Obviously, you would, but you need a plan. Otherwise, you’ll make things worse. The key lies in doing the right things, at the right time, and the right way.

So, are you ready to learn how?

Here’s a simple action plan you can adopt to turn a bad first impression into a strong and powerful one.

1. No Matter What You Do, Never Say “Sorry.”

Contrary to conventional wisdom, saying sorry actually makes your impression weaker. This does not mean that you shouldn’t apologize. However, don’t use the word “sorry”.

When apologizing to her, follow the steps below:

  • Send your apology within 12 hours of your date.
  • Text your apology – don’t call.
  • In the text, begin with a positive aspect of your date with her.
  • Then, state clearly, the reason for your apology.
  • Also, include what you should have done instead.
  • Do not make excuses.
  • Leave the word “sorry” out.

text herFor instance, text her this: “Hi, dinner with you last night was great, but I think I poked too deep into your personal life. I should have kept things light. Pardon the oversight.”

Remember to keep it short – fit the text into one SMS.

If you get a reply, then acknowledge the reply appropriately without starting a new conversation. For example, you can end it with, “Thank you for understanding. Have a nice day.”

Once you’ve apologized, move on to the next step.

2. Take A Mandatory Step That Improves Your Odds Significantly.

Here’s the deal: After you send the apology text, do not initiate any form of conversation with her for one week. If she gets in touch with you, then keep the conversation short, relevant and pleasant.

Use the weeklong silence to take the actions mentioned in the rest of the post. These actions will set your next date up for success and create a killer impression.

Warning – under no circumstances should you agree to a second date, or set up a second date, during this cool off period.

3. Adopt An Absolutely Simple Way To Creating A Strong Impression.

Let’s face it: Ordinary things don’t leave lasting impressions. People forget the routine and the commonplace. To make a winning impression that lasts, you must escape the mundane. Don’t worry, you don’t have to sky dive or wrestle crocodiles to have an interesting story to tell. Actually, it is surprisingly easy to stand out. Here’s how you can do that.

Consider this: Suppose someone asks you a simple question like, “What’s up?” or “What are you up to these days?” Most people would impulsively make unremarkable statements, such as “the usual” or “nothing much.” They have nothing interesting to talk about because they never broke out of their routine.

Fortunately, you don’t have to be deadly dull boring. Instead, you can weave an aura that magnetically draws people to you using this simple strategy:

During the cool off period do new things. When you step out of your comfort zone and expand your experience, you grow as a person. This expansion radiates from you and everyone notices it. Therefore, they’re naturally inclined to knowing what happened.

Read a BookHere are a few examples to give you a better picture:

  • Read a Book: “Things at the office is pretty static, but I finished reading this interesting spy thriller the other day. It was awesome.”
  • Cook a Dish: “Those chefs on television make cooking omelets look easy, but I didn’t realize it could be so tricky. I started with an omelet, but ended with scrambled eggs. It was messy, but fun and tasty too.”
  • Visit a Landmark: “My friends and I visited the museum last week. I went there as a kid, and visiting the place, as a grownup, was a different experience all together. It was a good way to spend the evening.”

The above narratives invoke curiosity in the listeners, pulling them into an engaging conversation. Your date is no exception to this phenomenon. In summary, to become interesting, you must do interesting things. So, when you’re on your weeklong silent routine, do at least three things that are not a part of your normal routine.

4. Use A Sure-fire Way To Set Up An Amazing Date.

After the cool off period is over, it’s time to set up your next date. Be mindful there are three things that matter when planning a date: location, location and location.

But, here’s the problem: People usually pick locations where they spend much of the time talking, such as restaurants or coffee shops. In such situations, maintaining an interesting conversation throughout the date becomes stressful.

Strangely, other popular dating options, such as movies, offer no opportunities to talk. Thus, the time spent together could seem empty – without any bonding happening. You should avoid both extremes.

What you can do instead is to pick a place or an event where you both will have something to do other than just talk. Here’s how you can do that:

  • Amazing DateRecollect your last conversation with her and jot down things that she showed interest in.
  • Read your local newspaper, browse the net, search your social media posts, or use an app to find engaging events happening in your city.
  • You could also search for interesting things to do, such as bowling.
  • Based on the list of her interests and your search results, shortlist a few events.
  • Consider logistics and other variables to zero in on one event.

Once you find a suitable event, invite her to join you for the event. However, make note of the following points when doing so:

  • Mention the event, as well as its connection to her interest.
  • Invite her to join you for the event.
  • Create a safe option for her to bail out gracefully.

Here’s an example:

“Hi, I remember you said you love Central Park. A couple of amazing street magicians are performing there on Saturday at noontime. Would you like to come? I understand you may have made other plans, but if you’re free, please come. It’ll be awesome.”

Text her the invite, because it will give her time to consider the invitation. If you call, she might feel pressured to give an answer immediately. After you send the invite, wait for her reply. If she doesn’t respond, then follow the “one and two” rule.

5. Avoid Sounding Desperate Using The “One And Two Rule.”

This rule is a systematic way of following up. Here’s what you should do:

  • If your invite didn’t receive a response on the day you sent the message, then wait for her reply for another day before following up.
  • If your follow up message didn’t receive a reply, then wait for two days before asking one final time.
  • If the final message didn’t receive a reply, go for the event on your own.

the eventIt’s important that you go for the event even if she doesn’t agree to attend. After all, you can add this to list of interesting things you’ve done recently. In addition to that, there’s also this advantage: Post pictures and videos from the event on your social media account. This projects that the event was indeed fun, just as you said it would be. This way, she will consider your future invites seriously.

After the event is over, don’t text her or talk to her about how great the event was. Talk about it only if she initiates the conversation.

Try the text invite one more time after a week or two. If you still don’t get a response, then it could be because she’s not comfortable with things being just “the two of you.” So, invite her to an event where she can bring her friends and you can bring yours. This would make her feel more comfortable.

If things go well, and you land a date, then move along to the next step.

6. Try A New Technique For Putting Things Together On D-day.

You’ve certainly covered a lot of ground so far. As an added bonus, you’ve also grown as a person and become more interesting and captivating. Now, the date is on and it’s time for round two.

Here are two techniques that will improve your chances of creating a solid impression:

  • The Contrast Technique: In this technique, you portray a different side of yourself. Let’s say the last time you met, you dressed formally, plastered your hair with gel, and shaved your beard. This time, dress less formally, style your hair differently or sport a goatee. The idea is to look and be different from before.
  • The Mirror Technique: Intimate couples unconsciously mirror each other. You can take advantage of this psychology. If you consciously mirror her, then it produces a feeling of intimacy or close connection. One way to do this is to mirror her breathing.

on a dateObserve her breathing and match your inhales and exhales with hers. Maintain direct eye contact as much as you can. Keep it up for two to three minutes. Then relax into your own rhythm. You will definitely feel a deep connection.

Keep the date short, less than two hours, and don’t set your next date while you’re on a date.

While you’re on a date, make sure that you:

  • Enjoy the time you spend with her.
  • Listen to her actively.
  • Pay attention to her likes and dislikes.
  • Don’t offer suggestions or become a Mr. Fix-it.
  • Manipulate or force situations to your favor.

When done right, the two hours will just to fly away and before you realize it, it’s time to say goodbye. However, this is important – you need to finish just as strong as you started.

7. Finish Strong And Lorem Ipsum-ize Her.

“Lorem ipsum” is a text string the printing industry uses as a placeholder text. You must think of your date as a placeholder and not the place. She’s not your girlfriend, at least not yet. Thus, at the end of the date, the only question that you should have remaining is “would I like to see her again?”

Sometimes, the answer might surprise you. Maybe you were infatuated and really don’t see yourself in a long-term relationship with her. In which case, just tell her you had a good time and be on your way.

If you do want to meet with her again, you should find out if she feels the same way. So, just before your date ends, say to her “Hey that was fun. We should hang out again sometime.”

Assuming you executed the plan well; her response to this would be positive. Even if you had little bumps on the road, in every case, this date would end much better than you first one did.

Common Pitfalls That Will Derail Your Attempts

The steps listed above are potent and practical. Yes, it requires some work on your part, but the beauty of companionship is worth the effort. However, you must be cautious. Here’s a list of a few don’ts you must know.

While executing this program, do not:

  • Get DrunkMultitask: Tempting as it is, do not try the approach multiple people at the same time. Focus on one person at a time.
  • Get Drunk: Carry out each step only when you’re sober. Do not initiate or reply to any communication with her while you’re drinking.
  • Talk About the Plan: The plan doesn’t require any external help or support to succeed; thus, do not bring another person into the picture. Talking about the plan also adds social pressure to succeed – you really don’t need that.
  • Abuse Texting: Use all methods of online communication to manage logistics and not to build a relationship.
  • Engage in Long Conversations: If she calls you, keep the conversations brief, shorter than five minutes. Listen to what she says and respond relevantly. Remember, you’re going to meet with her soon, so don’t talk about everything over the phone.
  • Get Tunnel Vision: Don’t put her on a pedestal just yet. If you spend hours deciding which mobile phone to buy, don’t you think it’s rather immature to decide that she is the proverbial “one” after one date?
  • Overthink the Relationship: If you find yourself fast-forwarding into the future or rewinding to the past, then you’re overthinking things. Concentrate on the task at hand.
  • Dwell on the Past: Forgive yourself. Acknowledge you made a mistake and move on. Re-running past events in your head serves no purpose.
  • Compare: If you were in relationships before, then do not compare the experiences or try to identify patterns. Also, don’t take other couples as a template for you to emulate.
  • Be Inconsistent: This method is a way of personal development applied to dating. You will succeed in making a better impression because you would have become a better person. So continue to the effort even after you’re in a relationship.

gives you confidenceImagine that it’s your second date, but this time, you know exactly how things will play out. The clarity gives you confidence. You reach the location ahead of time, and spend some time exploring the place. Everything looks energetic and exciting – you know she’ll love it.

Your date arrives, and she looks just as beautiful as she did last time. But she does seem pleasantly surprised by your new outlook; the contrast technique is working its magic. Right from the get go, she gets the message – this time it’s different.

Since you spent your time well, growing as a person, your conversations engage and entertain her. Slowly, she warms up to you. As she begins to talk, you mirror her breathing and gaze into her eyes gently. Gradually, you feel something magical happen.

Wow, you’ve never felt so connected with someone and you know that she feels it, too. The time to depart draws near. You recount the all the wonderful moments you had today in your head. And while you wait for a cab to arrive, she says, “I had a wonderful time, we should do this again.”

In your mind, you pump your fist victoriously. You’ve blown the initial bad impression you set to smithereens. As her cab drives away into the horizon, you say to yourself “You ain’t seen nothing yet baby.”

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