8 Winning Ways to Avoid First Date Awkwardness

time to planA first date can be something that many men dread. They may feel nervous, have no idea how they are going to make this work, and they may even dread this first date. However, the first date is your time to shine. Thus, it is important to learn whatever you can do in order to make your first date one that you will both remember with fondness.

You have landed your first date with the girl of your dreams, so now it is time to plan. Never go into a first date without some type of plan in place. Without proper planning, you can be assured that your date is going to be one that is not satisfactory at all.

1. Rules To Remember For Your First Date

There are several rules you are going to want to keep in mind when planning your first date. These golden rules are going to be the basis for a good first date that may lead to more dates:

  • Ensure the date is going to be one that is going to combine both of your interests. Do not plan a date that is going to simply be about what you like. Take the time to do something that is going to interest you both, so you do not lose her attention or respect.
  • With a first date, be sure that you budget and not overspend. It can be easy to feel that you need to spend lots of money in order to impress her, but this may have the opposite effect. So be money conscientious about the first date.
  • Plan a date that is going to be simple. This is going to allow you to spend more one on one time together, rather than being bogged down with technicalities often associated with an in-depth date.
  • Take the time to talk to one another during this date. The first date is all about getting to know one another, so you need this interaction. Luckily, the other rules listed here can help in ensuring conversation can happen without a hindrance.
  • Always ensure the first date is just you and her. Do not go on a group date at first, as this can make conversation awkward and nearly impossible.

2. Where to Go

Where to GoOnce you know what to do and what not to do on a first date, the key is finding a location for this first date. There are several factors that will affect this decision, and all these factors must be taken into consideration. Ask yourself a few questions:

  • Is there a place that has a significant meaning to you both? Such as the place that you exchanged numbers?
  • Are there places to avoid for health reasons? For example, taking a girl to the Botanical Gardens is not a good choice if she has severe allergies. The same can be said for where you go to eat, if this is a choice. Do not take a date to a restaurant that could invoke an allergic reaction.

Once you have the answers to this, you are free to let your imagination soar. If you are serious about avoiding awkwardness with the first date, then you will want to avoid some of the typical first date locations:

  • Avoid the movies, as this is not going to allow for any real communication and can ultimately lead a girl to feel as though you were not truly interested.
  • Avoid stuffy restaurants, as this can make for a stuffy environment in which you both feel forced to make small talk, yet not really talk about anything meaningful.

If you are serious about making this date one for the record books, then simply ask her what she has in mind. Do this before the first date, as it shows that you care. If she gives you a few ideas or makes remarks about someplace locally that she has always wanted to see, then you know that you have a winning idea.

Here are a few ideas about locations that you may be interested in going to for your first date. They are sure to inspire a memorable first date:

  • Take her bowlingTake her bowling as this can be fun and evoke some competition, as well.
  • Consider going to an art gallery or museum as this can always give you something to talk about.
  • Go for a wine tasting if this is something that could interest you both.
  • Go to a festival being held in the area.
  • Try out one of the local historical landmarks in your area, as most people will find that they have never been to their local areas of history.
  • Consider a flea market or farmers market for a nice relaxing afternoon out.
  • Do something hand on, such as going to a pottery shop that lets you make your own pottery.
  • Go to a sporting event that you are both interested in.
  • Window shopping can be fun and it allows you two to see if you have similar tastes in items.
  • Grab a drink at your local bar, or if alcohol is off limits, consider going to the local coffee shop.

3. Conversation Starters

One of the main issues that men have on first dates is that they are not sure how to break the ice and start conversation. This is a common fear, and is nothing to be ashamed of. It can feel daunting to start conversing with someone and feeling as though you are being judged. This is why the location of your date is going to greatly affect how to start the conversation.

A question is always a great way to get the conversation started. However, you will want to avoided the dreaded, “What do you want in a relationship?” question. Other questions you want to avoid:

  • Never ask anything about money.
  • Avoid political questions.
  • Do not ask her why she is single.
  • Do not ask what went wrong with her last relationship.
  • Do not ask about her sexual history right off, as this makes you come off as only wanting one thing.
  • Avoid asking questions about diets, plastic surgery or anything else that could be misconstrued.

Now that you know what to avoid, consider these questions as great conversation starters:

  • conversation startersDo ask her what she does for a living.
  • Ask about her favorite type of music, movies, books and entertainment.
  • You can ask her about her goals that she may have in her life, such as if she wants to expand her career or the like.
  • Ask about her college experience, interesting family stories with siblings or funny work experiences.

The key to starting a conversation is that you want to talk as much as you listen. You do not want to feel as though you are doing all the talking and monopolizing the conversation, as this is often signaling that you are failing.

The good news is that if you choose certain locations for your date, such as museums, festivals, art galleries or even historical locations, it gives you something to immediately talk about as you share your thoughts on what you are seeing. This is why these locations often come highly recommended for those on their first dates with someone.

4. Physical Contact on the First Date

One of the most awkward moments that guys admit to when on their first date with a woman, is that they are scared that if he were to touch her, she will run into the hills screaming. This is a common fear and it can lead to an awkward first date. This is especially the case when she may be expecting you to hold her hand, give a cheek kiss or put your arm around here.

Innocent touches on a first date are usually fine. This can be anything from a friendly hand on her lower back as you walk her through a door, a brief pat on her hand as she talks about a story or even an arm around her chair as you talk with one another. To determine whether physical contact is okay for your first date consider:

  • Her body language: Is she leaning towards you? Is she smiling?
  • Is she interested in the conversation? If so, it could mean that is into you and would not mind a simple touch.
  • Has she touched you? Innocent touches by her usually means that she is into you, so if she touches you, you can consider this a green light for innocent and flirtatious touches.

If all else fails and you cannot see any signs as to whether physical contact would be welcome, try what many men refer to as the accidental touch. Accidentally brush against her, and see her reaction. If she does not cringe in disgust, you should be fine.

5. Always Express Your Feelings

be honestAwkward first dates are nerve racking. However, though they may be nerve racking, you still need to stay true to who you are. No matter how much you like this woman; you still need to be honest about who you are and how you feel.

You will always want to express your feelings and be honest to ensure that the first date is as transparent as possible. This does mean:

  • Do not hide your intelligence in fear of running her off.
  • If you love to play video games, do not hide this fact from her.
  • Do not lie about anything in hopes that this will win you favor in her eyes.

The only way that an honest relationship can form from the first date is if you truly express your feelings and thoughts honestly. Lying to impress someone means that you are not being yourself, and no one can be happy with someone unless they are honest with the other.

6. Always Stay Grounded in the Moment

getting marriedIt can be easy during your first date to start fantasizing that this person is the one for you. This may mean that you tune them out while they are talking, simply because you are thinking about the next few dates, getting married, having children and spending the rest of your days together. Though these types of thoughts are nice, you need to stay grounded in the moment.

This means:

  • Try not to place too much hope into the first date. This is the getting to know one another date, and it can go either way. There will be good and bad first dates throughout your life.
  • Relax during this date and simply enjoy the person, even if there are no romantic sparks present, you could still be making a lifelong friend.
  • Avoid talking about marriage and children unless she brings this up as a topic of conversation.

If you find that our attention is wandering during the first date, be sure to give yourself a mental nudge and stay with that person in the moment. You never know what you may be missing when this happens.

7. Goodnight Kiss or Handshake?

The end of the first date can be just as stressful as the beginning when you haven’t met the girl yet. Every guy is plagued with the decision as to how to end the date, should there be a goodnight kiss, a hug, or even a handshake? Doing the wrong thing can mean the end of the relationship for good.

The key to figuring out how to end the first date is going to be based on how well the date went. There are several signs that a handshake is in order:

  • There was no physical attraction to the girl at all.
  • The two of you had nothing in common.
  • Neither of you seem in a hurry to do this over and can’t wait to get the night over with.

a simple hugSituations that call for a simple hug are:

  • The two of you seem to be getting along great, however, you see her as more of a sister.
  • You are still unsure as to whether there is a physical attraction between you, so a hug is the safer measure.
  • This is a gesture that leaves you open to a second date, yet also lets you appear equally as comfortable if you were to stay friends.

When things have gone fairly well, a goodnight kiss is not out of the question. This is how you hope the first date is going to end. Signs that a kiss is in order include:

  • She leans towards you while walking to her door.
  • She seems interested in spending more time with you, as in she may have mentioned doing another date, or even delays leaving your side.
  • She invites you into her home for a drink, signaling that she doesn’t want the night to end.

When you find these signs, it is obvious that a goodnight kiss would be welcomed, so you should go for it. This way you can feel if there are any sparks between you, a good sign that a second date is in order.

8. Asking For a Second Date

give her a callDo not rush into asking for a second date, as this can make you appear desperate. If the night has gone well, give her a goodnight kiss and tell her you will give her a call at a specific time. If you say that you will call her the next day, then do so. Do not believe the hype that you have to wait three or four days to call a woman back.

Now that you know the woman better, you should have a better idea of where to take her for your second date. But remember, without the first date going well; do not expect to find many second dates. And there may be times that the woman turns into a well trusted friend, rather than romantic interest, which is fine.

The first date can be nerve racking and in many cases, men find that first dates become awkward. However, with this helpful advice, you will find that your first dates are going to be better than ever. The main aspects to keep in mind:

  • Remember the golden rules of first dates including make a simple date that is not too expensive and is going to be something in which you both will enjoy.
  • Decide where to go that is going to ensure that you can get to know one another, and perhaps a location that is going to spur on conversation.
  • Conversation is key to the success of a first date, be certain that you are aware of conversation topics that are off limits and those that are safe to discuss.
  • Know the signs that physical contact on your first date are going to be welcomed or dismissed, as this can save you tons of awkward feelings later.
  • Always be honest and express yourtrue feelings, never lie during a first date as this not being the real you.
  • Stay in the moment, so you can know that you are not missing out on anything.
  • Decide whether to end the night with a kiss, shake of the hands or hug at the moment the date is ending.
  • How you go about asking for a second date is also going to come into play as to whether the first date is awkward or not. So be aware of the best methods of doing this.

You can avoid awkward first dates if you have your expectations in the right place. There are going to be good and bad first dates. However, you can rest assure that awkward will no longer be in your vocabulary.

 

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