7 Spot-On Strategies to Steer Clear of the Friend Zone

You’ve probably been a victim of the friend zone – the bane of all men’s existence, and the place where all romantic hopes and dreams go to die. It is the end-all-be-all to an otherwise great friendship that has now become awkward.

If you are like every other man on the planet, you are likely familiar with some of the most precarious situations the friend zone can lead to. Becoming delegated to the friend zone can be quite challenging and frustrating, especially if you lack the skills to discern what a woman truly wants. On the other hand, whether or not your intentions leads you somewhere with your pal, you’ll likely learn some things along the way, like what you are willing to compromise for true love.

dark placesWhat exactly is the friend zone? It is that place where a girl feels at ease communicating to her guy friend, yet she is oblivious to the fact that he is pining to be with her.  As a result of the strictly platonic friendship and never revealing his true feelings for her, she remains unaware to the fact that her guy friend simply wants more than platonic affection. As a result, his heart sinks as he hears her say, “Let’s just be friends.”

For many men, the friend zone usually brings to mind dark, dark places where all undesirable people go to live perpetually single, never to be loved again. This is certainly not the case, as the friend zone is actually where most healthy, potentially romantic partnerships can develop, whether it be accidentally or purposefully.

Depending on which way you look at it, the friend zone can be a positive or a negative. On one hand, it gives you the chance to show a woman your dreams and what she is truly missing. On the other hand, if not executed well, it can lead to a less than ideal situation.

Although many people believe that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, we can all agree that the common denominator in all of us is to love and be loved. Here are some benefits of the friend zone, as well as some helpful ways to get out of it and into her arms.

1. Back Away

As the saying goes, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” This expression certainly rings true in testing our true love for someone. Some even go as far to claim that if you truly love a person, let them go or more frequently stated, “Out of sight, out of mind.”

Sometimes all we need is a bit of clarity to see where our true feelings lie. Back away to give her a chance to wonder what you’re up to for a change. If the apple of your eye has been holding back, even after you have declared your love, take a step back to allow her to look at the big picture, which can actually do both of you some good, especially if you’ve been in each other’s presence all of the time.

have your own interests goingWhen you have your own interests going on, you’ll have less time to think about her and her feelings for you, which also gives you some head space to think clearly about your next move.

Don’t feel bad about flirting with other women or mentioning that you are dating other people. Nothing makes a woman want you more than knowing other women want you, too.

As you learn about yourself and how well you can cope without her in your presence, you’ll become a more interesting, stronger individual with a unique perspective on what you truly want, which may even become irresistible to her. Don’t immediately respond to her texts, or constantly be at her beck and call. It’s alright to make her sweat a little bit.

2. Be Her Best Friend

The simple mistake that many guys tend to make when crushing on their friend is jumping into the idea of being her soulmate too soon. Women like to communicate in various forms. Sometimes all a person wants is someone who will listen to them, or someone to talk to. You definitely will not win any points trying to seduce her while she is confiding in you about a problem she is having.

Instead, make her feel special in subtle ways, like touching her shoulder, giving her your shoulder to cry on, and making eye contact when she is speaking. Even offering small favors, such as cooking her dinner or offering a massage after a long day will show her that you care, but it may also lead to something else.

The most important thing is to be a friend without doing something that may compromise the relationship. Although you may feel inclined to make a move on her, sending out subtle hints is likely to be far more effective. The less overt you are, the more likely she is to wonder if there actually could be something more.

3. Speak Up

Speak UpSpeaking up is one of the best forms of communication. Not only do you get your feelings out in the open, you will also make your requests clear. Sure, it may be embarrassing to deal with at first, but you will feel better for it in the long run.

You may even get shot down, which is also not the end of the world; however, it’s better to be upfront about your true feelings than to stew in silent misery. You will also most likely see this person often, so it’s better to talk it over than to keep your feelings to yourself. Things may even become awkward, but true friendships are for better or for worse.

Whatever you do, avoid leaning in for a kiss, or making a move on her, especially if you don’t know for certain if she is into you. Instead, sit down and have a discussion about it.  You may not like the outcome, but at least the offer may still be on the table in the future.  The way you handle rejection can say a lot about you. If you’re poised enough, she may actually come around some day.

4. Ask Her Out

Statistics reveal that men are usually more inclined to ask a woman out. Although social norms are changing, more women are becoming gutsier than ever and taking the plunge, rather than waiting for Mr. Right.

In this case; however, you want her. If you don’t make a move, she will likely never do it; however, you shouldn’t jump the gun too soon. Rather than laying everything out on the line, risking your feelings or potentially destroying your friendship, invite her to dinner and a movie, out to lunch, or something else that she could be read as platonic, but it still could be romantic enough to move forward, if the timing allows.

While out with her, observe how she responds to your small romantic gestures, and then immediately proceed to talk about something else. It’s a fun way to make her wonder if you are truly interested in her. Try not to make it weird with an awkward silence, and never harp on her for hesitating.

If you are a shy person, she will definitely get the hint without you having to push the issue even further. She may not even have an answer right then, but she could suggest something fun later.

5. Give Her A Run For Her Money

We often hear about what women want in a relationship. Most express the desire to feel needed, loved and cherished, but we rarely hear about what it takes to make a man want a women. We all have a need, which is to feel valued by others. Sometimes men put beautiful women on a pedestal, only to be shot down and feel like fools later.

sense of love or attachmentThere are several feelings that go into creating a sense of love or attachment towards someone, whether it is for their looks, their personality or other reasons. Sometimes the friend zone is simply a case of one person not being physically or mentally attracted to their friend for various reasons. Since we all look for different things, then what stands out to one person might not be a non-factor to another.

However, without any attraction, whether it’s body language, a hairstyle or how confidently one presents themselves to the world, they will probably get locked into the friend zone.

The good news is, people can become more attractive versions of themselves by practicing better posture and speaking more clearly. There are many ways to make ourselves more attractive, while maintaining our sense of self. Creating the best version of yourself might pique her interest, thus giving you the upper hand for once.

Becoming a better version of yourself has nothing to do with changing for someone else. Learn about what values you can bring to the relationship. She may think you have all the personality traits of the perfect guy, yet you remind her of her brother with your immature jokes or your man-boy style.

If you want her to take you more seriously, don’t treat her like your sister and dress more like a grown up. You can still be you – just a better version of you, which is something she may take notice of for the first time, seeing you in a different light.

6. The Simple Truth

Most guys do the right thing, which is to be polite, respectful and become a nice person upon first meeting a woman. However, this is also the same thing that lands many guys in the friend zone to begin with.

Being nice is not the problem. The issue lies in waiting too long to make a move. Many men offer women drinks, carry their bags and help them cross a puddle, but where is the romance in that? All that comes to mind is, “Gee, he would make a nice friend.” Where is the excitement in that?

lean in for the kissSo, you may know how to fix her drippy faucet or can cook, but what actually makes her think more of you is making the move on her. Women are not mind readers. Most will not have a clue of what your true intentions are, unless you act upon them. Instead, go for the gold and ask her out for drinks. Tell her how her eyes sparkle beautifully in that sweater.

Go ahead, grab her waist and lean in for the kiss, show her your moves. At worst, she will be turned off, but you’ll never know what can truly happen if you don’t try. Remember, once you are put into the friend zone, it is almost impossible to escape it.

7. Don’t Overthink Things

Sometimes we make problems seem bigger than what they are. If you like a certain someone who does not reciprocate, it may seem like the biggest blow to your ego.

What makes dealing with the friend zone so difficult is how much thought you give it. In other words, if you like a girl, let her know and let it go. She is only human and the more stress you put on the situation, the bigger it will only seem.

If you happen to be out on a date with your friend, then express interest in her. If she has already shown you that she is into you, then it is up to you to up the ante and make it work. Otherwise, don’t fret over something that may not happen, because you won’t let it.

true loveThe friend zone is not an ideal place to be if you happen to stumble into it without even trying. However, the good news is that we are all capable of following our destinies. Even if we can’t necessarily control what the future holds relationship-wise, we can get closer to landing the person of our dreams by following these simple tips.

If lasting love is what you seek, don’t wait too long to show your interest and to prove how much of a worthy partner you are, even if you have been really good friends for quite some time. Sometimes our true love is staring us right in the face, but sometimes things don’t always go as planned.

The most important relationship is the one that we have with ourselves. Once we have that one in line, then all other factors will come into play, even if we remain in the friend zone longer than we planned. If you find she wants to be friends, not lovers, you still have a great friend in your life.

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